


second floor living (without a yard)

by leeinthesky



Category: New Amsterdam (TV 2018)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Moving In Together, a lil bit of smut, dead, gratuitous use of the word 'gorgeous' to describe kitchens, helen is an anxiety professional, iggy frome is everyone's dad, lauren bloom is here, lee doesn't know how to tag, max 'heart eyes' goodwin, nothing too graphic, oh luna is here, so is floyd reynolds, the new york housing market is insane, where is georgia you ask?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-06-26 14:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19769692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeinthesky/pseuds/leeinthesky
Summary: i’ve got a man to stick it out,and make a home from a rented houseand we’ll collect the moments one by onei guess that’s how the future starts'we need more space,' max says for the six hundredth time, and really, helen agrees.if only finding somewhere that'stheirswere just that simple.





	second floor living (without a yard)

**Author's Note:**

> after being unable to write for weeks, THIS is what my brain finally spewed out- 6.6k words of domestic/angsty/fluffy/just a little smutty sharpwin! enjoy!
> 
> title and lyrics in the description are from the song 'mushaboom' by feist
> 
> ALSO I DON'T OWN THESE NERDS DON'T GET ME BANNED FOR COPYRIGHT PEOPLE

helen sharpe has lived on her own for years. since her third- no, fourth semester of university after her absolutely insane roommate angela took a pair of scissors to a particularly nice dress helen had been planning to wear to end-of-term festivities for some perceived slight (something to do with a boy, or maybe a girl- helen never wanted to know). after that, she got a flat off campus; a real shithole where the heat never worked in winter and the air conditioning seemed to break every summer. helen gradually moved up and up from a sixth floor walk up in southwark to a ninth floor flat in a building with an actual elevator on the upper west side until she _finally_ had her dream place in chelsea with floor to ceiling windows in a place with an honest to god _doorman_. 

it’s not that helen likes being alone. she just likes her space. she likes having a place that’s just _hers_ where she can come after a long day of work and relax. helen is a doctor at and the deputy medical director of the oldest and largest public hospital in all of america; she deals with patients and problems all day, and even though helen really does love her job, there are some days when all she wants to do is go back to her nice plushy apartment and pour a very strong drink. 

not that she’s been doing much of that lately- going back to her apartment or drinking. between a sixteen month old, a new liver, and max goodwin, there hasn’t really been time for either. what’s surprising to helen is that she doesn’t really mind; she’s finding that she’d much rather be chasing after a running toddler or snuggling on the couch with her boyfriend (max goodwin! wow!) than sitting alone watching netflix with a pint of ice cream. it turns out that doing things with the people you love is much more enjoyable than doing them alone. 

helen has never felt this way about anybody, never wanted to give up the possibility of an escape route or her own personal paradise to live with someone for real. it’s odd; every ounce of her personality says she should hate living with max, with his spontaneity and his unpredictability, but she loves it, loves _him_. helen loves waking up every morning to the feel of his arms or the sound of luna’s almost-talking and knowing that this is where she’s meant to be. 

it doesn’t make it any less scary when max finally brings up their space issue. 

it starts with breakfast in the morning, one bright and busy day. it’s the same as any other morning in max’s apartment; max is tripping over the socks he left on the floor while helen dodges his sloshing coffee cup as luna runs screaming through their legs just because she can. it’s as hectic as ever and while helen loves the ‘go, go, go’ of being a doctor, _this_ is decidedly less adrenaline-rush inducing. she didn’t get much sleep the night before because the baby kept waking up and that made her restless which made max restless which made luna even more restless and set off a whole cycle of restless nonsleeping for the entirety of the family. max has a meeting with the board and helen has at least six appointments and a personnel meeting and the day is stressful on principle before it even begins. 

‘we need more space,’ max says exasperatedly, and not for the first time. he dodges helen’s toast and only narrowly avoids getting jam on his scrubs. ‘as much as i love you, i do not love nearly stepping on you every time i want to make breakfast. or brush my teeth. or-‘

‘i get it,’ helen says quickly, cutting him off. ‘i agree, your apartment isn’t big enough for the three of us.’

‘luna needs a bedroom.’

‘we have got to get a bigger kitchen.’

‘oh my god! we could have a _yard!_ ’

that breaks the illusion just a bit. ‘a yard?’ helen snorts incredulously. ‘in the city? max, come on, let’s be realistic.’

max’s face drops just a little bit, and it makes helen feel horrible. she picks up luna and hands her over to him gently (a surefire way to make him smile) and leans up against the counter to appraise him. helen has lived with max for nearly a year and a half, and yet the idea of _moving in_ with him to a new place that’s _theirs_ makes her stomach churn just a little. 

an apartment. a long term investment, proof that their relationship is going to last. it’s completely irrational that it makes helen nervous. she loves him so much that it hurts, and of course she wants to build a life with him and luna. but helen hasn’t lived full time with someone in years, much less a boyfriend. 

so helen asks her closest friends what they think.

‘i think you have commitment issues,’ lauren says bluntly, mouth full of sandwich.

helen had cornered lauren bloom and floyd reynolds in the cafeteria, explained her situation, and waited to hear what they think. she always values their honesty and their sincerity, but right now it is definitely not helpful. 

‘hey, that’s mean,’ reynolds scolds his girlfriend. ‘and what are you, five? chew with your mouth closed.’

(lauren takes the opportunity to show off the half eaten sandwich and stick her tongue out at floyd.)

‘you don’t have commitment issues,’ he reassures helen. ‘moving in together is a big step, everyone feels nervous about it.’ 

‘but i already live with him. i don’t know what it is about getting a whole new apartment that scares me.’ helen can feel the frown line between her own brows. ‘you guys didn’t have this problem, did you?’

the other couple shares a look. 

‘no,’ lauren finally admits. ‘but you know i hated my old apartment. and his permanently smelled like wolfthorn old spice. it was irredeemable.’ 

this is _not helpful_. 

‘okay. well, thanks anyways guys.’ helen tries to smile at her friends, but it must not be believable, because both bloom and reynolds wear matching concerned faces. ‘i’ll figure it out, i’m sure.’

~

helen does not figure it out. all day, she goes through all of the reasons why she could be nervous about getting a new apartment and comes up short; she’s no longer guilty about georgia or her ex-fiance mohammed, the housing market is great, both her and max get paid more than enough to afford a two bedroom apartment in manhattan, and she’s madly in love with max. 

every reason she lists makes her feel worse and worse. maybe she does have commitment issues. the realization makes it hard to make eye contact with max in their board meeting. she knows he can feel that something is wrong, and he keeps trying to catch her attention across the conference room table. when helen finally looks up at him, max has that look of his on his face, the kicked puppy one, and her heart drops.

‘helen, what’s wrong? talk to me please,’ max begs as he runs after her into her office once the meeting is done. 

the sheer worry in his voice is enough to make helen turn and grasp his hands in hers. ‘nothing is wrong, max, i’m just having an off day,’ she says, only half lying. 

‘is this about this morning? the apartment thing? we don’t have to move. i’m sorry, i should’ve sat down and talked to you about it more-’

‘max, you have nothing to apologize for,’ she cuts him off, a little bewildered. ‘you did nothing wrong. it just caught me off guard a little bit. i haven’t lived with anyone since i was in my twenties.’

the admission looks like it knocks max off his feet. 

‘you live with me.’

helen can feel herself digging her hole deeper and deeper. ‘i know. that’s not what i meant. i just thought about the stress of moving and finding a place and putting your place on the market and- it just caught me off guard.’

max’s grip on her hands loosens. ‘and your place, too.’

‘what?’

‘we’d put your place on the market too, right?’

oh shit. ‘yeah, of course,’ she tries to save, but max is already pulling away.

‘you know, if you didn’t want to move in with me, you didn’t have to,’ he says sounding hurt. ‘just- i’m sorry i brought it up, okay? forget about it.’

‘max,’ helen sighs, reaching back out for him, but he’s already halfway out of the door.

‘i’ve got an appointment with a patient. i’ll see you later.’ 

she blinks and he’s gone, her arm still outstretched, and nothing about this is remotely okay anymore.

~

helen thinks she might cry, but manages to save her tears for a time when it’s more socially acceptable. in the meantime, she goes to someone who might _actually _be able to help her get past this mental block.__

__‘can i talk to you?’ helen asks, sounding small, as she knocks on the half-open door to iggy frome’s office._ _

__iggy looks up from his papers, sees the conflicted look on her face, and nods quickly. ‘close the door,’ he says._ _

__his voice is instantly calming, and helen feels a bit better as she does as he says and settles in one of his plush armchairs. iggy frome has always been a sort of a father figure to helen, who hasn’t seen her actual father in years. she doesn’t know if it’s the fact that he’s actually parent or if it’s because he’s literally a therapist, but he always knows exactly what to say and how to solve every problem helen has ever come to him with._ _

__iggy watches helen for a moment before it becomes clear that she’s not going to start on her own. ‘so,’ he prompts carefully. ‘what’s up?’_ _

__‘do you think i have commitment issues?’_ _

__‘uhhhh...’ her friend’s eyes go wide. ‘what brought this on, exactly?’_ _

__helen sighs, burying her face in her hands. ‘max wants to get a new apartment.’ iggy says nothing, and when she peeks at him through her fingers, his expression is still confused. ‘we need more space,’ helen explains, dropping her hands. ‘luna is getting bigger, and she needs her own room. we’re constantly stepping on each other in his kitchen. the bathroom is not big enough for the three of us. _we need more space_.’_ _

__‘okay. so what’s the issue?’_ _

__‘i don’t know. he just said it and it freaked me out and i don’t know why.’_ _

__‘you already live with him,’ iggy points out, the fourth person to do so in one day. the glare helen sends his way is enough to make his raise his hands in surrender. ‘i’m just saying. it’s obviously not living with max that’s the issue. so what’s the issue? what freaks you out about it?’_ _

__helen frustratedly searches for the words to explain what she’s feeling. ‘the last person i lived with took a pair of scissors to my favorite cocktail dress because her crush asked me out instead of her,’ she finally says._ _

__one of iggy’s eyebrows raises just slightly. ‘i don’t think max is a scissor wielding sociopath.’_ _

__‘then you’ve never seen him before coffee.’ she nearly laughs but the pressure in her chest has her choking on it. ‘i’ve lived on my own since university. i’ve had my own _place_ since university. i love max so much and i want to live with him, but i’ve never _not_ had an-’_ _

__‘an escape route,’ frome finishes for her._ _

__the tears slip out of helen’s eyes before she can stop them. ‘so, do you think i have commitment issues?’_ _

__‘helen.’ iggy reaches over to put a hand on her knee. ‘i really don’t. you’re one of the most committed people i know- to this hospital, to your daughter, to _max_. this has nothing to do with your commitment.’ he sits back to look at helen, and she squirms under his gaze. ‘what do you love about your relationship with max?’_ _

__the question catches helen off guard. what does she love about being with max? ‘he makes me laugh,’ she admits. ‘he’s always thoughtful- when he knows i’ve had a hard day, he always makes me dinner. he lets me be lazy on the weekends. he knows when i need to curl up on the couch with him and when i need room to breathe. and he takes me on the weirdest, most spontaneous dates. d’you know, the other day, we went to a talk on _beekeeping_. beekeeping! we don’t even keep bees!’_ _

__helen is laughing now, not crying, and iggy smiles back at her._ _

__‘so, it’s not commitment issues. it’s not that your relationship doesn’t work, because you two are the most disgustingly in love people i’ve ever met,’ he says with a fake gag, effectively breaking what was left of the tense mood. ‘and it’s not that you’re scared to live with someone.’_ _

__‘it’s not?’_ _

__‘nope,’ iggy shrugs in that nonchalant way of his. ‘it’s change. you’re scared that getting a new apartment with max is going to change your relationship with him. make it more routine, less exciting.’_ _

__helen lets hit. ‘oh,’ she says quietly as the realization sinks in._ _

__‘change isn’t a bad thing in a relationship as long as the change is _growth_ , helen,’ iggy adds. ‘and having more space can only make your life with max easier. no fighting over who gets the bathroom first, no knocking each other in the kitchen, and trust me, i speak from experience when i say that pretty soon, you’ll be _very_ glad that luna has her room.’_ _

__they’re both quiet for a moment. then, helen speaks. ‘so you think a new apartment is growth? that it won’t change our relationship?’_ _

__‘do you think max could ever stop being- well, being _max_?’_ _

__she rolls her eyes with a fond smile. ‘no.’_ _

__‘exactly. you’re going to be going to beekeeping talks and slam poetry nights in weird basements for the rest of your life, helen. get used to it,’ iggy laughs._ _

__helen covers the hand on her knee with one of her own. ‘thank you,’ she says softly, hoping she sounds as grateful as she feels._ _

__her friend’s smile is lopsided, eyes shining as he nods. iggy pats her hand and pulls her into a hug. ‘you kids are gonna be okay. better than okay.’_ _

__her eyes close as she breathes a sigh of relief. _change isn’t a bad thing in a relationship as long as the change is growth_. helen knows what she has to do now, what she wants to do, and when she leaves work, she returns to her own apartment for the first time in ages._ _

__~_ _

__she gets home- max’s apartment- much later than usual. max is sitting on the couch, across from the door, arms crossed when she walks in._ _

__‘luna’s already asleep,’ he says in a near whisper, tone only slightly accusatory. ‘where have you been?’_ _

__‘i had to swing by the other apartment and get some things,’ helen answers, gently letting the bag with said things fall to the floor and shrugging off her coat._ _

__there’s a horrible moment where they just stare at each other, not speaking. to say that they’ve never fought before would be a lie, but this is different. this isn’t about work, this is about _them_. _ _

__‘so i was looking on zillow, the real estate website? i think we definitely need two bedrooms, at least. two bathrooms would be nice.’ helen’s tone is nonchalant, like she’s talking about what they’re having for dinner and not a subject that literally sent her into a panic attack earlier. she hopes max will just go with it, but that’s not max at all._ _

__‘what?’ he says, sounding genuinely confused. ‘i thought you didn’t want to do any of that?’_ _

__‘max.’ helen comes to sit next to him on the couch, fingers twitching to hold him. she doesn’t think he’d be too receptive to that right now. ‘i did. i _do_. i was just- scared. of change. i don’t want us to become like those couples who never go out, or who move in together and then grow apart. i guess...i thought getting a new place would make us like that. we don’t have the space to ignore each other here.’_ _

__the last part makes max let out a surprised laugh. ‘helen sharpe, you’re crazy if you think i would ever ignore you. that i could even be able to ignore you.’_ _

__she can feel her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. ‘i know, i know. it’s irrational.’_ _

__‘hey.’ he holds out his hands for her to take, and she does so quickly. ‘i hear what you’re saying, okay? i understand. if you want, we can give up this apartment and keep yours, rent it out.’_ _

__‘good plan,’ helen nods. ‘great plan. very economical. unfortunately for your plan, i was just at my building to tell the leasing agent that i’m gonna give it up at the end of my contract at the end of the month.’_ _

__the look on max’s face is priceless. he looks like a kid on christmas, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows and teeth on full display. ‘really?’_ _

__‘really,’ she confirms, leaning over to give him a kiss. ‘i’m not scared anymore. i’m all in.’_ _

__he returns her kiss eagerly. when they break apart, the corners of his mouth lift slightly. ‘so, two bedrooms? i was thinking three. room to expand.’_ _

__the implication and the look on his face have helen jumping his bones right then and there._ _

__~_ _

__as it turns out, saying that you want to move into a new apartment and actually _doing_ so are much different things. _ _

__moving what was left of helen’s things from her apartment to max’s is easy enough. she’s selling the furniture back to the property manager but taking the wall art, because it was expensive and she doesn’t want someone who doesn’t appreciate it to have it. helen paid last month’s rent when she signed the contract quite literally years ago, so she doesn’t even owe anymore rent money on the place. max goes back with her one last time to make sure she hasn’t left anything._ _

__‘you know,’ max muses as they search each room, ‘i think i’ve only been here like, once.’_ _

__it makes helen pause her search. ‘really? i could have sworn-‘_ _

__but when she thinks about it, max is right. they got together because she helped him with luna after the- _after_ , and his apartment was already baby proofed so it just made sense that they lived there. sure, at the start, helen didn’t live with max full time and came back regularly to sleep in her own bed or grab a change of clothes, but once they quit being dumb and confessed their feelings, there really was no reason for her to be at her own apartment. _ _

__while helen contemplates this little fact, max quits his search of the guest room dresser to stand in front of the big windows. he’s thinking, she can tell, although what about is hard to discern. helen drops the pair of socks she’s just found under the bed and quietly walks up behind him. he holds on to her hands as she snakes her arms around his waist and sighs contentedly._ _

__‘big windows,’ max finally says. ‘big windows should be on the list.’_ _

__‘okay. big windows,’ helen agrees._ _

__they get so caught up in talking about their wish lists that they almost forget to finish packing up._ _

__max’s apartment is much harder. they don’t know when they’ll actually find a place, which means knowing whether or not to renew the lease is impossible. it’s a contract with a shorter term, only a year long compared to helen’s long-term four year lease, but in a city where an apartment like this one routinely goes for seven or eight thousand dollars a month, that’s a long time for an apartment to sit empty and a lot of money going to waste. breaking the lease is complicated and messy and it’s already stressing helen out just thinking about it._ _

__what’s also hard is finding an apartment that fits everyone’s wishlist. basically the only thing they agree on is location- greenwich village or the surrounding areas only- and number of bedrooms (three). helen insists on an in unit washer and dryer. max thinks they need an office space. she wants a white kitchen and he could care less; he demands a separate dining room and she thinks they’ll never use it._ _

__the realtor helping them must think they’re the absolute worst. every weekend for three weeks, the poor lady takes them from apartment building to townhome to brownstone, trying to find them something that both of them like in a city where housing is at a premium and no one gets exactly what they want. helen is honestly less stressed about finding every single thing on her wish list than finding a place that’s not going to bankrupt them and will work for them for more than two or three years. max, on the other hand, seems positively dead set on finding an apartment that not only checks all of his boxes, but hers as well._ _

__every place they see, max finds something wrong with. the gorgeous sixth floor apartment on fifth avenue with not only a white kitchen and a dining room, but huge rooms and an office? no third bedroom. the third street loft with the terrace has no white kitchen or dining room. the townhome on tenth street doesn’t get enough natural light, and the flat on greenwich avenue doesn’t have enough ‘character’. they’re at an apartment that helen thinks would work for them and is frankly gorgeous one weekend when helen finally decides to call max out for it._ _

__it’s a nice apartment, on a quiet block with a tree lined street. there are three bedrooms and bathrooms and a white kitchen and an office and it’s _perfect_ , but all max can focus on is the fact that there’s no in-unit washer and dryer or floor to ceiling windows. helen thinks that maybe the listing agent showing them the place is going to punch max any second now, and even she is a little fed up with him. _ _

__‘can we have a second?’ helen asks the poor agent, her smile a little more forced than usual._ _

__‘of course,’ is the reply, and the other woman gives helen a look that most definitely reads as ‘ _how do you put up with him?_ ’_ _

__max at least waits for the listing agent to leave the room before he speaks again. ‘i don’t think this is the place,’ he says with a sigh. ‘you really didn’t want to have to share laundry, the rooms are a little small, and-‘_ _

__‘max,’ helen cuts him off, and she must sound extremely done with him, because he stops talking immediately. ‘what’s up with you?_ _

__‘nothing, i just don’t think this apartment will work for us in the long term-‘_ _

__‘don’t do that. don’t make up excuses,’ she retorts. ‘we said we were gonna do this together remember? so talk to me. what’s _actually_ going on?’_ _

__max glances around the large sitting room, shoulders hunching as he shoved his hands in his pockets. he looks nervous and a little lost, and it makes helen soften. something really is bothering him._ _

__‘your apartment,’ he finally says. ‘it was really nice, much nicer than mine. you- you had those huge windows and a fireplace and a really great kitchen. the building had a _doorman_. i don’t know. i guess it made me realize how much you were giving up to live with me.’_ _

__the confession breaks helen’s heart. ‘max,’ she gasps, all of her annoyance gone in an instant, and she pulls him into a tight hug. it surprises him, and helen can hear the huff of his breath as she squeezes him, but max’s arms still settle around her waist like it’s second nature. ‘i am not giving up _anything_ to live with you. i don’t care if i never have a doorman or big windows or a nice kitchen for the rest of my life if it means i get to be with you. i love you, max goodwin, even when you’re being dumb.’_ _

__max pulls away just a bit to look into helen’s eyes. ‘i love you, too,’ he says a little sheepishly, his cheeks dusted pink and voice soft._ _

__‘now come on, what do you like about this place? for real,’ helen asks._ _

__‘well, i like that there’s an office. means i can work here instead of at the hospital some days, spend more time with luna,’ max admits._ _

__‘yeah, i agree. what else?’_ _

__‘the kitchen. it’s _gorgeous_. and i like that there’s a terrace, although i wish it were an actual yard.’ he’s on a roll. ‘i like that there’s three bedrooms, although if we have another kid, i’m not gonna like that the rooms aren’t all on one floor. and the hardwoods! they look original, which is a nice touch.’_ _

__helen has to ignore the whole ‘another kid’ thing because if she dives into that, she’s going to break down in the middle of this really nice apartment and the realtor is already at her wit’s end with them._ _

__‘okay,’ is all she says, smiling up at him. ‘all valid points. let’s go tell the poor realtor that we want to see some more places, yeah? maybe one with a yard.’_ _

__max’s smile is dazzling._ _

__~_ _

__finding a place with a yard in manhattan in their desired area is about as hard as helen thought it would be. every place is either 1. way too big (who the hell needs eight bedrooms and five bathrooms?!) or 2. much too expensive (15,000 dollars a month? for THREE BEDROOMS?). with only two months left on max’s lease, helen should be freaking out about finding another apartment, but instead she just feels- _excited_. she and max are finally on the same page about what they want. is it taking them ages to find it? sure. is the realtor ready to murder both of them and make it look like an accident? sure. but helen wakes up every morning to new listings, and every showing she goes to with max gets them that much closer to finding the perfect place. _ _

__their breakthrough in the new york housing market, it turns out, comes not from a listing agent or a real estate app, but from their friends at new amsterdam._ _

__‘why don’t you buy instead of rent?’ vijay kapoor asks them during a department heads meeting that had quickly devolved into a q &a into max and helen’s apartment-hunting woes. _ _

__‘yeah,’ iggy frome agrees. ‘you’d probably be able to find more of what you want. martin and i lived in the village in the nineties, and we had to buy so that we didn’t get pushed out by all of the nyu students.’_ _

__‘huh,’ is all helen can say as she looks over to max. he looks just as thoughtful, and they just keep each other’s gazes. ‘i never thought of that.’_ _

__‘think we could afford it?’ he asks._ _

__‘max,’ helen laughs. ‘i sign your paychecks. i know how much we make. and we both have money saved up so...why not?’_ _

__‘it’s big investment.’_ _

__‘worth it if it’s with you.’_ _

__‘i agree,’ max smiles at her and grabs her hand across, kissing it softly._ _

__the rest of the room is silent._ _

__‘i have no idea what i just witnessed,’ lauren bloom pipes up, ‘but it was a gross display of public affection and i never wanna see it again.’_ _

__~_ _

__apparently that’s all it takes. helen and max say ‘hey, we actually wanna _buy_!’ and the realtor says ‘great!’ and slams down an entire binder of listings. they sit down and talk about how much they can spend (a number that makes the two of them cringe slightly but the agent practically salivate) and have no fewer than six listings lined up within minutes. _ _

__they don’t even make it to the third one, because the second townhome is absolutely _perfect_. _ _

__it’s on ninth street, just between fifth and sixth avenues. the street is tree lined and quiet, and helen can hardly believe that they’re downtown at all, much less in manhattan. two blocks from washington square park should mean street peddlers and tourists and college kids, but there are kids playing on the sidewalks and helen can hardly hear the honking of car horns. someone is honest to god _barbecuing_ and even though they haven’t even seen the house, max looks practically giddy. _ _

__once helen steps inside, she really can’t blame him._ _

__the ceilings are high, and you can see straight through the first floor, past a white kitchen and huge living room, to floor to ceiling sliders that open to an actual garden._ _

__‘a yard,’ max says quietly, with a heavy reverence that implies that he didn't think they’d ever find a house with one in the city, and also that he’s never had one. ‘helen, a yard!’_ _

__‘i see it.’ his enthusiasm is infectious, and helen is smiling ear to ear within seconds._ _

__max, surprise surprise, blows past everything to go outside. helen, on the other hand, goes slowly, cataloguing every feature, nook, and cranny. it’s all very mid century modern, which she quite likes. there’s a set of stairs that the realtor says leads to the four beds the townhouse has, and three of the bathrooms. she listens politely while the agent tells her info on the place until without really knowing why, she freezes just as she passes into the sitting area. helen allows herself to settle and look around and suddenly, she’s aware of why she freezes._ _

__she can picture them here. living and working and _growing_ here. helen can see where a christmas tree would sit wonderfully in the living room. she can hear luna’s gleeful screaming coming from the garden. if she listens closely, she can hear max singing in the kitchen, and if helen focuses really hard, she can almost imagine herself standing in this exact spot, rocking a baby back to sleep. _ _

__helen doesn’t realize she’s crying until max calls her name._ _

__‘are you okay?’ he asks, sounding like he’s called her a few times. max clocks her tears and brushes them away gently. ‘why the tears?’_ _

__helen shakes her head, trying to convey that she’s not upset while she pulls herself together. ‘i’m just so happy,’ she finally chokes out. ‘this place is so perfect. i can see us here, can’t you?’_ _

__‘yeah.’ max looks around the first floor, smile slowly returning. ‘yeah, i can.’_ _

__as they just stand there in silence, taking in the house, their hands intertwine. this is the place._ _

__~_ _

__they come in aggressively, like in everything they do, and way above asking price, so it’s no surprise when they get the house._ _

__they move in all of their things in a day, with a little help from reynolds and bloom. their friends agree to take luna for the afternoon while they slowly unpack all of the boxes. of course they get horribly sidetracked, bickering over whose mixing bowl is better (because there’s _no_ way they could ever need two) or whose fancy china set to put in the fancy wall cabinet (they both got a set as engagement gifts, years ago, and while neither says anything it’s a given that they’re not getting rid of them. they both need little reminders of the ones they lost). everything _finally_ gets put in its rightful place, and soon enough, max and helen are relaxing on the couch, beer in hand. helen is stretched out, feet in his lap- because she can do that now, they have a couch that’s big enough- sitting in silence and taking in their _house_ when max finally says something. _ _

__‘welcome home,’ he says, voice soft but betraying just how happy he is to say that._ _

__‘home,’ helen repeats, humming contentedly at the word. ‘i like the sound of that.’_ _

__they watch each other in comfortable silence. max has music playing from his phone somewhere in the kitchen, soft guitar strums complementing the sound of birds outside and the beat moving in time with the rise and fall of helen’s chest. max is just studying her, in that earnest, open way of his. she thinks back to when just the thought of him looking at her like this had her hyperventilating in the stairwells of the hospital, when he was so close and yet so, so far from her._ _

__helen remembers that psychic lady from the blizzard nearly two years ago now, and how the two of them had sat by the elevator and hastily asked one another if they believed in all of that stuff. fate or being psychic or anything at all, anything to try and make sense of what they’d just been told about the other. then, she’d told max that she didn’t know if she believed in it, but she knows now that she does, because the two of them move in perfect synchronicity. helen hardly has to work to pull herself up into max’s lap because his strong hands grab her waist and tug her close as they slot their mouths together._ _

__they fit perfectly against one another, like they were made for each other, and maybe they were. max knows exactly what to do to have helen gasping in mere seconds, and she retaliates by tugging hard on his hair. he looks up at her, pupils blown, while he bites at her collarbone in a way that is _absolutely_ going to make a mark, but she can’t even be mad because he’s also throwing off her shirt and letting his hands roam over her chest. helen wants to sit back and enjoy this, now that they have the space to just be going at it like this without worrying about toddlers, but at the same time it’s been _too long_ and just having his hands on her is driving her wild. _ _

__her bra lands somewhere over by the dining table. max’s shirt comes off somewhere between pushing her back down onto the couch and starting to press kisses in a sloppy line down her torso. helen really doesn’t know, she’s much too dazed to worry about anything other than helping max get her pants off. he’s taking his sweet time making her squirm, so of course helen’s phone rings right as he’s finally about to put his mouth on her._ _

__‘max, leave it,’ helen pleads, panting with want. ‘just leave it, it can’t be anyone important.’_ _

__‘the hospital?’ he’s hovering only inches above her. he’s teasing._ _

__‘would’ve called you first. _max_ -’_ _

__‘what about lauren?’_ _

___damn it_. max is right and he knows it; he smirks at her as he grabs the still-ringing phone off the mantle and tosses it in her direction._ _

__‘hello?’ helen answers, trying not to sound too annoyed._ _

__she can hear lauren’s smile through the phone. ‘hey girl. i’m not interrupting anything, am i?’_ _

__‘ha ha. what’s up?’_ _

__‘we’re at the park right now,’ bloom replies, sounds as nonchalant as ever. ‘floyd is trying to teach luna to say his name, but you know she can say her l’s or her d’s, so that’s going pretty horribly for him.’_ _

__helen is wondering if she would be a horrible person for hanging up on her friend when she feels max settle back down between her legs. she glances down at him, eyes wide, and tries to shake her head at him, but he just holds her gaze innocently. lauren is still going on about how nice the weather is when lowly he says ‘keep talking.’_ _

__she almost doesn’t know what he means until his head dips down to meet her and she has to clap a hand over her mouth to keep from moaning directly into the phone._ _

__‘wow,’ helen whimpers, cutting lauren off in the middle of a story about a cute dog or something. it sounds very suspicious, and she can feel the vibrations of max’s laughter all throughout her body. ‘it sounds so nice out today,’ she tries to save quickly. max isn’t slowing down. ‘wish we were out there with you guys.’_ _

__‘no, you don’t.’ helen’s heart almost stops until lauren continues: ‘you guys need to be adults for a little bit. you know, bicker about throw pillows or something. have more than one drink and not worry about your child. which is why your house warming gift from me and floyd is us taking luna for the night!’_ _

__helen is almost too out of it with the pleasure of max’s mouth on her to understand. ‘so babysitting?’_ _

__‘ _free_ babysitting, sharpe, there’s a difference.’_ _

__‘okay. okay, yeah, thank you, lauren,’ she agrees after a moment. ‘just- just don’t let her stay up too late or she’ll be horrible tomorrow-’_ _

__‘helen,’ lauren cuts her off with a laugh. ‘we’ve got this. enjoy your new house. enjoy your _boyfriend_. once in every room, yeah?’_ _

__‘what?’_ _

__‘once in every room? you know, like ‘new house! gotta make her come once in every room!’’_ _

__‘i don’t think that’s a real- _holy shit_!’_ _

__max, who until now has simply had his mouth on helen’s sex, chooses this exact moment to slide a finger into her._ _

__‘oh my god. is he fucking you right now? helen-’_ _

__‘thanks for the babysitting,’ is all helen can say before she’s hanging up and tossing her phone across the room._ _

__‘you were supposed to stay quiet,’ max admonishes her as he presses a sticky kiss to her thigh._ _

__‘shut up and take off your pants, goodwin.’_ _

__(he makes her come _twice_ in every room, just because he can.)_ _

__hours later, when they’re both fucked out and her legs are still a little shaky and they’re collapsed in bed, helen thinks about how lucky she is that she gets to spend the rest of her life living with a man like max goodwin. someone who loves and supports her, who trusts her with his secrets both big and small, and most importantly, who isn’t going to take a pair of lefty scissors to her nicest dress. she thinks about all of the good things he’s given her in the two years she’s known him- her passion for medicine, luna, _himself_._ _

__so yeah, if you had told helen sharpe aged nineteen and a little jaded that she would live with anyone ever again, she would’ve told you not-so-politely to fuck off. but this- laying here with max goodwin in the home that they _own_ together while slowly falling asleep tangled up in his arms- is unlike anything she’s ever known or felt. helen, while she drifts off, comes to the realization that it’s not the place but max himself._ _

__whether it’s in a cramped one bedroom apartment or a dreamy townhouse with a yard- she’ll always feel at home with him._ _

**Author's Note:**

> 'once in every room' is the phrase my cousins used to tease each other with when they'd move in with their significant others and i just felt like it fit helen and max so well lmao
> 
> also the apartment that these two buy is a REAL APARTMENT for rent in new york city right now.... anyone wanna move in with me?
> 
> as always, i'm doctor-sharpe on tumblr and @saltzmantwins on twitter. come yell at me!


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